Tornado Warning

Posted by Michael on February 20th, 2007 filed in News

This is on the front page of the Houston Chronicle this morning: Thousands could die if a giant tornado ever hits Houston

Well, sure. Thousands could also die if Houston was hit by a giant meteor, destroyed by a natural gas explosion, or overrun by mutant man-eating fungus. Why is this front-page news? Have they run out of real scare-mongering stories, so now they’re just making up hypothetical ones?

You have to get to the 6th paragraph before they acknowledge that this is unlikely to happen:

“These are indeed unlikely events,” said Joshua Wurman, president of the Center for Severe Weather Research in Boulder, Colo., and lead author of a recent article in Bulletin of the American Meteorological Society on the tornado modeling.

“But I think, given the consequences, it’s prudent for emergency managers to think about what they would do if such a thing happened.”

Such a thing has never happened in Houston. But if it did, it could become the deadliest natural disaster ever to strike Texas, perhaps even eclipsing the 8,000 dead from the Galveston Hurricane of 1900.

I don’t think it’s right that they should focus on hypothetical killer tornadoes. Wouldn’t you rather see hypothetical stories about mutant man-eating fungi destroying Houston? If you were going to make up a story about how thousands of people in your town could die so you could put it on the front page of your hometown newspaper, what story would you make up?

Print This Post Print This Post Email This Post Email This Post

8 Responses to “Tornado Warning”

  1. Michael Says:
    February 20th, 2007 at 5:40 pm

    “Best of the Web” from OpinionJournal also made fun of this article today:

    “Thousands Could Die if a Giant Tornado Ever Hits Houston”–headline, Houston Chronicle, Feb. 20

    They Could Die Even if It Never Does

  2. Jo Says:
    February 21st, 2007 at 11:44 am

    I’m thinking Giant Squid.

  3. Michael Says:
    February 21st, 2007 at 2:04 pm

    We might have to truck the giant squid in, being a little far from the coast. Perhaps we can imagine Giant Squid can kill thousands in Galveston and put it on the front page, and go with the closely related Giant Slug to destroy Houston.

    Or were you thinking Giant Squid for lunch?

  4. Jo Says:
    February 21st, 2007 at 8:38 pm

    I’m thinking ship channel!!

  5. Stephen Says:
    February 21st, 2007 at 8:48 pm

    Nothing could kill that many people in my town, there is not that many people. :)

  6. Michael Says:
    February 22nd, 2007 at 8:24 am

    Here’s somethin scary. New Zealand fishermen catch world’s largest squid

    WELLINGTON (AFP) - A New Zealand fishing boat has landed what is believed to be a world record squid weighing an estimated 450 kilograms (990 pounds).

    The gigantic sea creature is about 10 metres (33 feet) long and about 150 kilograms heavier than the next biggest specimen ever found.

  7. Jo Says:
    February 25th, 2007 at 10:24 am

    And you thought I was joking!

  8. Michael Says:
    February 25th, 2007 at 3:57 pm

    What *else* could go wrong? I’m afraid to ask. 8O

Leave a Comment