5 thoughts on “Caption This!

    Hollywood actor and Republican activist “Wilson” attacked candidate John Kerry today. Kerry was unharmed.

    Best known for his co-starring role in the movie Castaway, Wilson has not worked in the movie industry since late 2000. Although Wilson blames his lack of employment on his blacklisting by the “Hollywood Elites”, friends allege that Wilson was under steadily increasing pressure to change his appearance since signing an ill-conceived deal with the sports manufacturer Wilson Athletics *(no relation)to use his visage on a line of volleyball equipment:


    Rumors in the creative commmunity, mention the star’s continued substance abuse including nitrous oxide and helium gas in creating an unbalanced and un-rounded personality. Doctors re-skinned Wilson in 2003, a procedure necessary for salt water rot.

    “He was coming apart at the seams after being rejected for a role in the summer olypics – he was just deflated.” said B.B. Spalding, close confidant of Wilson. “I guess he just blew”.

    Senator Kerry, during an emergency coiffure stated that he harboured no ill will to Wilson and even offered us this bit of hope – “In my brave new world, even right wing wackos and democrats will be able to play ball together”.



  2. “Just an old, sweet song…. with soccer on my mind…”

    I think Sean ought to win some sort of award. Not only did he caption it, but he included an entire fake story complete with links.


  3. “They told me to tie a string around my finger and it would help me to remember my stance on the issues – – that didn’t work as you all know because I flip then I flop and I’m just a big waffle. So next they told me to throw baseballs, footballs, windsurf and even ride a bike to try to get the blood flowing so I could remember these important things. That didn’t work either – – so today I was talking to Al Gore and he told me that maybe if I carry a ball with me and hold it close it will give me security and help me to remember. I didn’t want to hold the ball because it hinders me from holding onto the rail and with my awkward moves I’d surely fall so instead I took some nail glue from one of the campaign helpers and stuck it to my head. I figure the closer it is to my brain the better off I’ll be. Now if I could only remember – – hmmm… what was I supposed to remember?”


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