Tonight I’ll be seeing the Houston Aeros at the Toyota Center, even if I do drive a Nissan. I haven’t seen them (the Aeros) on the ice in years. Diane is bringing Maritza and the kids, I’m sure we’ll have a grand time.
Here are the rules for hockey as I understand them:
- There is a penalty called “icing.” It can happen anywhere on the ice. That’s why it’s called “icing.”
- The score is less important than the number of times your team slugs the other team.
- Even though that’s why you watch hockey, players get penalized if they slug somebody.
- Don’t give a large softdrink to the kids, or you will spend a large quantity of time in the restroom with them.
- Some people take out home equity loans if they think they’ll be buying a hot dog.
- Even in the summer, sitting next to the rink is cold, so bring a jacket.
- I think watching my dog walk on ice would be funny.
- That’s not really a hockey rule though.
- “Riding a bicycle on the ice” would be funny, too, but it’s not a hockey rule either.
- Not that you’d ever come to this site looking for hockey rules.
- Of course, people come here looking for “packrat psychology,” so maybe you *would* come here looking for hockey rules.
- You won’t find any hockey rules, though. I don’t know what they are.
- Like that would stop me from posting made-up ones though. Ha.
Chasing the Wind 
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