This is a Link to a Typical Incendiary Blog Post

This sentence contain the actual link to the incendiary post, with or without comment from this post's author. This is a quote from that link to illustrate agreement. This sentence contains a provocative statement that attracts the readers’ attention, but really only has very little to do with the topic of the blog post. This … Continue reading This is a Link to a Typical Incendiary Blog Post

Woman Saved by Firefighters

A heroic story that will bring tears to your eyes. Swiss firefighters save a woman who said her television was on fire. ZURICH (AP) — It must rank among the easiest fires ever to put out. Zurich authorities say police and firefighters were called to the house of an elderly woman early Thursday after she … Continue reading Woman Saved by Firefighters

Texans versus Steelers

My wife is a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan. I don't mean *she* is huge, she's actually quite thin. But her enthusiasm is huge. And it's contagious, so I've been a Steelers fan for several years. I admire the work ethic, the faith, the character of the men playing. And the Steelers are awesome. But secretly … Continue reading Texans versus Steelers

In the Trunk

I hear a bad joke this weekend. Put your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car. Drive around town for a couple of hours. Now, stop and open the trunk. Which one do you think is happy to see you? I'd credit that joke to the appropriate sourse; I think it was … Continue reading In the Trunk

Mascots Under Attack

Image via WikipediaFirst, there was Beat Mor Chiken. The Chick-Fil-A cow was mugged. Then, McGruff the Crime Dog, savagely beaten by a Metro bus driver. Was that all? Rats, no it isn't. Chuck-E-Cheese was curdled. If you are a big fuzzy lovable mascot, be afraid. Be vewy, vewy afwaid. The citizenry has had enough of … Continue reading Mascots Under Attack

Finally, A Cure for Financial Woes

Finally, a financial strategy that makes sense. FOUR extra ravens are being drafted into the Tower of London because of the financial crisis — to prevent a 350-year-old curse coming true. My suspicion, though I'm unable to confirm it, is that in order to reduce labor costs, either fewer ravens were used or an inferior … Continue reading Finally, A Cure for Financial Woes

Not on Anybody's Diet

Feed a small country. Buy this shake from Baskin-Robbins. Only 166% of your daily fat (320% of your daily saturated fat). But hey, it also has 120% of your recommended calcium, so it could be considered a health drink. Especially for women; not only will it fight osteoporosis, but it'll also lower your center of … Continue reading Not on Anybody's Diet

Christian One Liners

Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case. *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews. *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors. *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is … Continue reading Christian One Liners

Double Espresso, Hold the Sermon

Our church offers free coffee during bible study, and if you park off-campus and take the shuttle buss, they offer doughnuts, too. Now there's a church that goes one step further and has converted into a coffeehouse. DENVER — Connection Metro Church, which used its foyer coffee bars to attract visitors to its eight satellite … Continue reading Double Espresso, Hold the Sermon

What Time Is It in Indiana?

I am amused. This should be a simple task; telling the client in Qatar what time our meeting starts in Indiana. I found out that this state has been arguing about the time for nearly two centuries. Some people who have ties back to New York want Eastern Standard Time. Others, who work with Chicago, … Continue reading What Time Is It in Indiana?

Binge Drinking Elephants

Just for the record, Paris Hilton has not admitted to helping binge drinking elephants in India. CORRECTIVE: Paris Hilton Story Nov 13 07:44 PM US/Eastern GAUHATI, India (AP) - In a Nov. 13 story, The Associated Press incorrectly reported that Paris Hilton was praised by conservationists for highlighting the problem of binge-drinking elephants in northeastern … Continue reading Binge Drinking Elephants

Bella

I heartily recommend the new movie Bella that just opened. There was a special screening tonight at a local theater where we got a chance to speak to the lead actor, Eduardo Verastegui, who seems absolutely genuine about putting together movies that express positive messages. He told us that after giving his life to Christ, … Continue reading Bella

Yasser Arafat's Wife

I suppose she must have found me by googling, perhaps looking for Dale Earnhardt's current girlfriend. However she found me, Mrs. Arafat emailed me and wants to share $6.5 billion dollars with me. From: Mrs Suha Arafat ( mrsarafatsuha80@gmail.com ) Re: Trusted Partner For Investment/Safekeep Wednesday, September 26, 2007 1:31:26 PM This mail may not … Continue reading Yasser Arafat's Wife

Engineering Quiz Answers

1. What planet is the only planet that rotates clockwise? Venus 2. Approximately how many bricks were used to build the Empire State Building? 10 million 3. What is the brightest man-made place that can be seen from space? Las Vegas, Nevada 4. Which dam holds the largest volume of water? Sycrude Tailings Dam, Canada … Continue reading Engineering Quiz Answers

Engineering Quiz

Ok, so I'm an engineer. See if you know the answers to the following. I'll post the answers in a couple of days. 1. What planet is the only planet that rotates clockwise? 2. Approximately how many bricks were used to build the Empire State Building? 3. What is the brightest man-made place that can … Continue reading Engineering Quiz

Who am I?

I answer my phone at the office early this morning. "Good morning, this is Michael." The other voice says, "Bill?" My actual response was, "No... this is Michael" and the caller apologized for the wrong number. The responses that went through my head, though, included, "Oh, yes, I'm sorry. This *is* Bill. Can I help … Continue reading Who am I?

The Duck & The Devil

The Duck & the Devil There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he … Continue reading The Duck & The Devil

The Following Preview is Safe for All Audiences

Mingle2 - Online Dating Heh. Chasing the Wind is rated "PG" because the word "dead" shows up twice and "missionary" once. I guess they're not expecting Christian websites and they way we use those terms. 🙂 * Nod to Coffeeswirls for the link.

Wrong Turn

At some point, I'm sure he had to realize he was lost. Cocaine-addled driver destroys entire cornfield on run from police Last updated at 09:29am on 26th June 2007 A driver who was high on cocaine destroyed an entire cornfield in an attempt to escape from the police. Four police cars were destroyed before the … Continue reading Wrong Turn

iPhone Mania

I've discovered I can't talk about new gadgets with my wife. She has an excellent radar, and I can't hide the drool coming out of my mouth. I started talking last night about the media frenzy regarding the iPhone and... "If you come home with an iPhone, I'm trading you in for a pair of … Continue reading iPhone Mania

The Benefits of Coffee

Not that I need an excuse, but there are benefits to drinking coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. The more, the better. Lowered risk for diabetes, Parkinson's, colon cancer, liver cirrhosis, gallstone, heart and liver disease, asthma and headaches. Probably good for remembering the names of strangers you just met and makes you taller and … Continue reading The Benefits of Coffee

The Hairdresser

Remember this story the next time you run into someone who knows little, cares less and tries to make your life miserable. 😛 A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: "Rome? Why would anyone want … Continue reading The Hairdresser

The Fine Print of the Immigration Bill

Fortunately, the Senate gagged on ramrodding (which is different than "Hillary Ramrodding") the immigration bill down The People's Throat. It'll give us more time to hoot and hollar and threaten to vote for the other party. James Lileks offers these highlights of the immigration bill this morning, and it's amazing what they thought they could … Continue reading The Fine Print of the Immigration Bill

Mid-Week Links and Oddities

In no particular order - Building the ark: Greenpeace activists are building an ark on Mount Ararat. Amusing. Of course, Greenpeace isn't a Christian organization (they don't seem to be anti-Christian, as far as I can tell) but they border on Christian mockery to make a point about global warming. Obscene bible: In Hong Kong … Continue reading Mid-Week Links and Oddities

The Five Love Languages

Ruh-roh. I saw this quiz over at Spin the Moon, and I already know I'm in trouble. I'm 99% sure my wife's love language is "Acts of Service." I'm pretty mine isn't. Funny how God does that - I'm learning to be a better servant. Ok, enough preamble. Let's go take the quiz - I … Continue reading The Five Love Languages

Bush Seeks Better Ties in Latin America

The headline reads "Bush Seeks Better Ties in Latin America." From the picture, you can see why. George Bush is wearing no tie at all, most likely embarrased by his current tie selection. My advise to President Bush, though, is to forego ties in Latin America and to look to China or Asia-Pacific. Silk ties … Continue reading Bush Seeks Better Ties in Latin America

A Conservative and a Liberal Were Walking Down the Street…

A conservative and a liberal are walking down the street and come across a homeless man. The conservative hands him his business card, invites him to come into his office to talk about a job, then he hands the homeless man $20. The liberal, not wanting to be outdone, points the man to the nearest … Continue reading A Conservative and a Liberal Were Walking Down the Street…

How to Start Each Day Feeling Good

Here's how to start off each day feeling good. Open a new file in your computer. Name it "Hillary Rodham Clinton" Now send it to the trash. Empty the trash. Your PC will ask, "Do you really want to get rid of "Hillary Rodham Clinton?" Slowly but firmly click "Yes." You should feel better immediately. … Continue reading How to Start Each Day Feeling Good

Creation

On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten … Continue reading Creation

Josh Turner at the Rodeo

Took my favorite date with me yesterday afternoon (my wife) to the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo. Had a great time. We watched two little chicks breaking out of their shells and a small crowd had gathered to root for them. The one we called "hermit crab" one, but not by much. Then we saw … Continue reading Josh Turner at the Rodeo

How to Romance Your Woman

A woman wants to feel like you went out of your way to impress her, to make her feel loved and special. Here's one possible way - BRUSSELS, Feb 14 (Reuters Life!) - Belgians tired of giving chocolate treats and flowers for Valentine's Day will be able to spend the evening squeaking out declarations of … Continue reading How to Romance Your Woman

I Need a Shower

I was at the gym last night, working on the treadmill. My usual habit is to listen to stuff on my iPod Shuffle, a mix of Country & Western, 70's Rock, 90's Folk Music, Spike Jones, Contemporary Christian, A Capella African Christian, Jazz, and sermons. Ok, so there's no real coherent theme there. In front … Continue reading I Need a Shower

Punxsutawney Phil is a Failure

It's all over the news today. Groundhog Day, 2007. Punxsutawney Phil fails to see his shadow. I think that's sad - not only is he a failure - he failed to see his shadow this morning - but the whole world knows it. It's plastered all over the news. Can't we give the little fuzzy … Continue reading Punxsutawney Phil is a Failure

Border Security

I don't know how one could make it any more obvious that better border security is needed. A Republican congressional candidate decided to make a point by smuggling a elephant and a six piece mariachi band across the Rio Grande river. A Pennsylvania congressional candidate and former reality-TV star used an elephant and a six-piece … Continue reading Border Security

Facing the Giants

Facing the Giants was a wonderful surprise movie this afternoon. I just don't know why I hadn't heard of it before this week. It's the story of a small Christian school's football team, and their triumph over defeat by placing their trust in God instead of man. So many wonderful Christian examples of how to … Continue reading Facing the Giants

Spinach E Coli

This is where e coli in spinach is coming from. The water the spinach was washed in contained polliwogs and these became fresh new frogs, right in the packages. So if you’re looking for salad fixins with a little more “body,” then be sure and try this brand.

Tuscan Whole Milk

Amazon sells a lot more than books. And I like the fact that you can write a review of the product. Amazon also sells a 1 gallon jug of Tuscan Whole Milk, and as of this moment there are 609 reviews, such as: Humbly self-touted as nutritious Some even bandied, crazy-delicious But like the man … Continue reading Tuscan Whole Milk

Elephant's Memory — A Touching Story

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, … Continue reading Elephant's Memory — A Touching Story

Superman Returns

Did you see Superman Returns? I saw it twice; I had read little snippets that there was significant Christian symbology in it, but it was much more obvious to me when I saw the movie. Warning, spoilers below, so don't click if you don't want to know: Jur-El telling his son Kal-El that he's sending … Continue reading Superman Returns

Dangerous Dilemma

Here's a dangerous dilemma. How would you solve this problem? You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same … Continue reading Dangerous Dilemma

Do It Yourself Ringtones

Just the utility I was looking for; I've never felt comfortable spending good money on a sliver of music for a ringtone. $3 for that? You gotta be kidding me. Thanks to a tip from Doug at Coffeeswirls a while back, tonight I tried out AudioGizmo. Pop your CD in your drive, a simple little … Continue reading Do It Yourself Ringtones

Jesus Heals

Presumably when Jesus was alive He didn't need bandages, but now you can buy bandages with His image on them for healing. Somehow it just doesn't seem right, but I can't put my finger on why. Healing comes from Jesus through prayer and grace, and a bandage with His picture doesn't fit into that equation … Continue reading Jesus Heals

Blogger's Fuel: New Media Mavericks

Thanks to a tip from Doug over at Coffeeswirls, a box of coffee beans showed up on my doorstep. They're part of a promotionfrom Boca Java. Hey, free coffee if I just blog about it? Sweet. When the box arrived, the aroma from the box was incredible. These were whole beans but it already smelled … Continue reading Blogger's Fuel: New Media Mavericks

Critics Pan "Da Vinci Code"

Ha. The Da Vinci Code movie is boring. Rocchi was among Cannes critics who grew restless as "The Da Vinci Code" dragged on to two and a half hours, saying, "I kept thinking of the Energizer Bunny, because it kept going and going and going, and not in a good way."

Boycotting and Protesting "The Da Vinci Code"

The protests are getting louder. Christians aren't yet rioting in the street a la the Muslim cartoon jihad, but if they were, would mainstream media be more sympathetic to Christians? Meanwhile, controversy is raging worldwide. Legislators in the Philippines have petitioned for the film to be banned from that country; hundreds of protesters took to … Continue reading Boycotting and Protesting "The Da Vinci Code"

Outsourcing Prayer Lines

I stumbled across this disturbing piece yesterday while reading the news. Major television ministries are outsourcing their prayer lines to India! The more I read, the more hot under the collar I got. DES MOINES — Last month, Lori Danes, 43, called the prayer line of a major television ministry and requested prayer for her … Continue reading Outsourcing Prayer Lines

Mission Impossible 3

Nope, I didn't see MI:3 this weekend. Apparently you didn't, either. Was it because Tom Cruise is a space alien? Was it because he made a farc of marriage by dumping Mimi Rogers, then Nicole Kidman, then Penelope Cruz, then getting Kate Holmes pregnant? That he pretended to be very religious while dumping wives? That … Continue reading Mission Impossible 3

Boycotting "Da Vinci Code"

Am I boycotting the "Da Vinci Code" movie? Or am I just refusing to go see it? The nuance is hard to discern. Christians Plan Boycott of 'Da Vinci Code' by Robert B. Bluey Posted May 04, 2006 Christian activists are planning a boycott of the soon-to-be-released Da Vinci Code movie, which one influential pro-family … Continue reading Boycotting "Da Vinci Code"

Free BBQ Grill

This is the ultimate in resourcefulness! I particularly like the higher shelf which can be used for keeping things warm! You can get a free BBQ grill from any of the following stores: Costco Home Depot Fry's Kroger Safeway Sam's Club Target Wal-Mart Here's a picture of the free BBQ grill:

Sad News

A moment of silence, please. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, … Continue reading Sad News

Civilization Expansion

It's odd how you could read a website for months and years, and then suddenly something unexpected is posted that leaves you wondering what the heck that was all about. Today may be one of those days for you. My favorite way to relax is to play Civilization IV. Challenging, intellectually stimulating, full of history … Continue reading Civilization Expansion