I.             Introduction

Bill had the honor last week of telling wives to submit to their husbands.   I think Bill made it clear that whatever misogynistic and sarcastic comment I was probably going to make isn’t supported by scripture.

So last week, after emphasizing mutual submission in the latter half of Ephesians 5 and addressing husbands and wives, Paul now talks to children, parents, bondservants, and bosses.  Ephesians 6:1-9 moves Paul’s practical teaching into specific, everyday relationships – family and work. The unifying theme in all these instructions is submission, which isn’t about weakness or inferiority but about following Christ’s example of humility and obedience to the Father.

Let’s be honest – submission isn’t something we normally might brag about.  Whoa, that guy is such an awesome Christian, he’s one of the most submissive guys I know.  It doesn’t sound right, and it can feel uncomfortable. Whether in Paul’s day or ours, the idea of yielding to someone else’s authority often rubs against our natural instincts.  In Roman society, power and independence were prized, and submission was seen as something only the weak did.  Fast forward to today, and things aren’t so different.  Our culture tends to celebrate independence and personal ambition over humility and service.

But biblical submission isn’t about giving up your dignity or letting someone walk all over you.  It’s about choosing to honor God by trusting His design for relationships.  It’s about reflecting Christ, who willingly humbled Himself to serve others.

It’s also important to note that this passage has been misused in history—particularly to justify slavery.  That misuse is a distortion of what Paul was teaching.  When we read these verses in their proper context, we see that Paul wasn’t endorsing slavery or oppression.  Instead, he was showing believers how to live faithfully in the roles they found themselves in, while pointing to the freedom and equality we all have in Christ.

II.          Submission in the Family (Ephesians 6:1-4)

Paul starts by addressing children, and it’s striking that he speaks to them directly. In a culture where children were often overlooked and considered subordinate to adults, Paul gives them value by reminding them they have a role to play in God’s plan.  His words elevate children, showing that they are active participants in the Christian life, not just passive members of the household.

Ephesians 6:1-3 states:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’

Paul begins with a straightforward command: “Obey your parents in the Lord.” The phrase “in the Lord” is critical—it frames a child’s obedience as part of their relationship with Christ. This isn’t blind obedience or obedience for its own sake; it’s obedience rooted in trust, respect, and alignment with God’s will. It is an act of worship that reflects submission to the authority God has established in the family.

Paul then ties this instruction to the fifth commandment from the Ten Commandments: “Honor your father and mother.” The inclusion of the fifth commandment here does two things:

1. It shows the continuity between God’s commands for Israel and the moral principles that apply to the church under the New Covenant.
2. It emphasizes the unique importance of this commandment, which Paul points out is “the first commandment with a promise.”

The promise attached to this commandment is “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”  In the original context of Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16, this promise referred to the blessings Israel would experience as they lived faithfully in the Promised Land. By honoring their parents, children would help preserve the family structure, which was essential for maintaining covenant faithfulness and a stable society.

Paul takes this principle and applies it broadly.  While Christians are no longer bound to a specific physical land as Israel was, the principle of God’s blessing remains.  When children honor their parents, they align themselves with God’s design for the family.  This fosters harmony, stability, and well-being in the home and society at large.

It’s important to note that the promise doesn’t mean obedience guarantees a long and trouble-free life.  Paul isn’t making a mechanical, one-to-one guarantee.  Instead, he’s emphasizing a general principle: honoring parents leads to a life that is more likely to flourish under God’s blessing.  A strong family foundation rooted in mutual respect and godly instruction tends to promote both spiritual and practical benefits.

Honoring parents isn’t always straightforward.  Some children face difficult situations, such as neglect, abuse, or ungodly behavior from their parents. Does Paul expect children to obey in these circumstances?  The key phrase “in the Lord” provides the answer.  Obedience to parents is never meant to violate God’s commands.  When parents lead in ways that contradict God’s will, a child’s ultimate obedience must be to God.

Even in less extreme circumstances, children may struggle to honor parents they feel have failed them.  Yet, honoring doesn’t mean endorsing wrong actions or blindly following ungodly instructions.  It means showing respect for the role God has given parents and seeking reconciliation, forgiveness, and respect whenever possible.

Paul’s command reminds us that the family is the first place where most people experience relationships, authority, and love.  When children learn to honor their parents, they’re practicing the respect, humility, and obedience that form the foundation of their relationship with God.  A child who learns to honor their parents is better equipped to honor God, who is the ultimate Father.

This principle also works in reverse. Parents who model godly authority by living with integrity, humility, and love make it easier for their children to understand and embrace God’s authority. Paul recognizes this dynamic and addresses fathers directly in Ephesians 6:4:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Paul’s focus on fathers reflects the cultural context of his time, where fathers were seen as the primary authority figures in the household. In Roman society, the paterfamilias (head of the family) had almost absolute power over their children, including decisions about their education, discipline, and even life and death. This authority, while extensive, often led to harsh and domineering parenting. Paul’s command challenges fathers to lead differently, reflecting the character of Christ rather than the culture around them.

The instruction to “not provoke your children to anger” is striking because it shows Paul’s sensitivity to the emotional and spiritual well-being of children. This can happen through overly harsh discipline, inconsistency, favoritism, neglect, or unrealistic expectations. When children feel constantly criticized or unable to meet their parents’ demands, it can lead to anger, discouragement, and even rebellion.

Paul’s warning echoes a similar command in Colossians 3:21, where he writes:

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Here, Paul highlights the danger of discouragement—a state where a child feels defeated, unloved, or unworthy. Such feelings can hinder a child’s ability to trust not only their earthly parents but also their heavenly Father.

Parenting, as Paul envisions it, requires a balance of authority and grace, much as our heavenly father demonstrates toward us.  Discipline is necessary, but it must be administered with love and consistency.  Parents are called to guide their children, not exasperate them. This requires self-control, patience, and a constant reliance on God for wisdom.

The ultimate goal of both discipline and instruction is to lead children to know and love the Lord. As Proverbs 22:6 reminds us:

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.

While this verse presents a general principle rather than a guarantee, it underscores the importance of laying a strong spiritual foundation in a child’s early years.

Living out this principle is far from easy. Parenting is one of the most demanding and humbling callings because it exposes our own weaknesses, impatience, and sin.  No parent can perfectly reflect God’s character, and the pressures of life—work, finances, personal struggles—can make it difficult to parent with consistency and grace.

Many parents worry about making mistakes or causing harm to their children. This fear can lead to overcompensation, such as being overly strict or overly permissive, neither of which reflects godly parenting.

In Paul’s time, the Roman culture often encouraged harsh discipline. Today, our culture swings the other way, often promoting a hands-off, “let them figure it out” approach to parenting. Neither extreme aligns with Paul’s call to nurture children in the Lord.

And then of course, as imperfect people, parents can easily fall into patterns of selfishness, anger, or neglect. These struggles can harm the parent-child relationship and hinder a child’s view of God.

Thankfully, God doesn’t call parents to perfection—He calls them to faithfulness. When parents acknowledge their dependence on God and seek His wisdom, He equips them for the task.

Children learn more from what they see than what they hear. A parent who models forgiveness, admits mistakes, and demonstrates faith in action teaches their children that Christianity isn’t about perfection but about dependence on Christ.

Discussion Question:

Do we teach our children to honor their parents?

Do we model this with own parents?

III.       Submission in Work Relationships: Servants (Ephesians 6:5-8)

Paul transitions from family relationships to the workplace by addressing bondservants. In the Roman Empire, bondservants (Greek: δοῦλοι, douloi) were a significant part of society, constituting a large portion of the workforce.  While their servitude was often economic or contractual, it could still be exploitative.  Paul’s instructions do not condone slavery but teach believers how to live faithfully within the systems they found themselves in, pointing to Christ as their ultimate Master.

Ephesians 6:5-8 states:

Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free.

Paul begins by addressing bondservants directly, just as he addressed children earlier. This recognition of their spiritual responsibility affirms their value in God’s eyes, despite their low social status. The instruction to obey “with fear and trembling” does not suggest terror but rather a deep respect for the authority God has placed over them. Importantly, this obedience is not about serving their earthly master alone—it is “as you would Christ.”

This Christ-centered approach reframes their work. Even mundane or difficult tasks take on eternal significance when done with sincerity and goodwill, as an act of worship. The phrase “not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers” challenges them to work with integrity, whether or not anyone is watching. Their ultimate accountability is not to human authority but to Christ, who sees and rewards their faithfulness.

Paul’s teaching reflects the example of Christ, who came not to be served but to serve.  Jesus humbled Himself, submitting to the Father’s will even in suffering.  For bondservants, this means their work, however humble or challenging, is an opportunity to reflect Christ’s humility and obedience.

While we are not bondservants today, the principle of serving “as to the Lord” applies to modern workplaces. Employees can glorify God by working with integrity, diligence, and a positive attitude, even in challenging environments. By shifting their focus from pleasing human supervisors to honoring God, believers transform work into worship.

This mindset can be difficult, especially when dealing with harsh employers, unfair conditions, or monotonous tasks. However, Paul’s reminder that God rewards faithful service offers hope and encouragement. As Colossians 3:23-24 reinforces:

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

Discussion Question:

How can we honor God in our work, even when it feels mundane or unfair?

How might this apply at home?

IV.          Submission in Work Relationships: Masters (Ephesians 6:9)

After addressing bondservants, Paul turns his attention to masters, delivering a radically countercultural command:

Ephesians 6:9 states:

Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.

Paul’s words directly challenge the Roman social structure, where masters wielded immense power over their servants. Telling masters to “do the same to them” flips the hierarchy on its head, calling them to treat their servants with the same respect, sincerity, and goodwill expected of the servants. This instruction aligns with Paul’s teaching in Galatians 3:28, which proclaims the equality of all believers in Christ:

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Of course there are differences – Messianic Jews are different than Gentile Greeks.  Men are different than women.  Women are different, I’ll never understand them.  People that squeeze their toothpaste from the top are different.  But in Christ, in terms of our relationship with Him, there is no difference.  My wife’s relationship to Christ is just as important to both Christ and her as my relationship to Christ is to both Christ and me.  I think Christians are more unified when we remember that every Christian brother and sister is an eternal being that we will see again.

The command to “stop your threatening” specifically addresses the abusive practices common among masters. Threats and harsh treatment were often used to control servants, but Paul calls masters to lead with kindness, fairness, and humility, reflecting the character of Christ.

Paul reminds masters that they too are under authority: “He who is both their Master and yours is in heaven.” This truth levels the playing field, emphasizing that earthly distinctions between master and servant are meaningless in God’s eyes.  Both stand equal before Christ, who shows no partiality.

This truth has profound implications for anyone in a position of leadership or authority.  Leaders are not to abuse their power but to steward it for the good of those they oversee . Like the servant-leader model of Christ, masters (or employers, managers, etc.) are called to lead with humility, compassion, and a commitment to justice.

For modern leaders, Paul’s words serve as a call to reflect Christ in the workplace.  This means treating employees with fairness, dignity, and respect.  It also means recognizing that leadership is a responsibility, not a privilege.  Leaders who understand their accountability to God will approach their roles with humility and a desire to serve, not just command.

This can be challenging in competitive or profit-driven environments where the temptation to prioritize personal gain over people is strong.  Yet Paul’s reminder that God shows no partiality calls leaders to a higher standard. Whether they are managing a small team or leading a corporation, Christian leaders are called to demonstrate the same servant agape love that Christ showed His disciples when He washed their feet.

Discussion Question:

How can leaders reflect Christ in how they treat those under their authority?

Can you think of examples of Godly leaders in your own life?

V.            Submission as Christlikeness

At its core, Paul’s teaching on submission points us to Jesus. Philippians 2:5-8 describes how Christ, though equal with God, humbled Himself to become a servant. His submission wasn’t weakness—it was love in action. Jesus trusted the Father’s plan completely, even when it meant suffering on the cross.

In our relationships, we’re called to follow Christ’s example. Whether it’s obeying parents, disciplining children, serving in difficult circumstances, or leading with humility, we have the opportunity to show the world what Christ-like submission looks like. This isn’t about being a pushover or giving up our identity. It’s about trusting God’s design for our lives and living in a way that reflects His love and grace.

Submission is countercultural. It challenges our natural desire for control and independence. But when we choose to trust God and live in humility, we demonstrate the power of the gospel. It’s a way to show that our ultimate hope isn’t in ourselves or our circumstances—it’s in Christ.

VI.          Summary

Ephesians 6:1-9 calls us to live out our faith in the most practical areas of life—our families and workplaces. Whether as children, parents, workers, or leaders, we’re all called to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Submission isn’t about giving up our dignity; it’s about trusting God and reflecting the humility and love of Jesus. By living faithfully in these roles, we honor God, build stronger relationships, and show the world the beauty of the gospel.