Chasing the Wind

News. Faith. Nonsense.

Now They Have Chemical Weapons

Vending machines are evil. One vending machine forced me to buy sunflower seeds, even though I don’t like sunflower seeds. The secretary still thinks I’ve lost it, and I still don’t want to talk about it.

Another time a vending machine forced me to buy pink lemonade Snapple, and I hate pink lemondade Snapple. I was actually trying to buy Zoo animal crackers out of a completely different machine, but it was out of change. I had this bright idea to put a dollar in the Coke machine next to it and hit the change return and see if I could get a dollar’s worth of change.

Of course not. Pfft. Once it had my money, it’s keeping it, and it’s going to force me to buy something. So I press the Diet Coke button… and it’s sold out. I’m going to have to buy something else.

Hmmm… I suppose I could buy a Kiwi-Strawberry Snapple as a second choice. I push the button… and out comes a Pink Lemonade Snapple. Demons! The button doesn’t match the product. Defeated in my attempt to buy Zoo animal crackers, I slink away, dejected, with my Pink Sissy Lemonade.

And now the vending machines have developed chemical weapons! Vending machines are evil! Evil, I tell you!

HOUSTON (Reuters) – An exploding vending machine turned the coolant freon into phosgene, a poisonous gas used as a chemical weapon in World War One, and forced the evacuation of 10 people from a Texas hospital, officials said on Thursday.

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Michael

Follower of Jesus, conservative, freedom-loving patriot.

4 responses to “Now They Have Chemical Weapons”

  1. Uptown Girl Avatar
    Uptown Girl

    I like Snapple Pink Lemonade and just had one about two days ago – – but then it might be ok since I am a sissy

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  2. Michael Avatar
    Michael

    Did I say “sissy?” That must have slipped out. 😛

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  3. Courtney Avatar
    Courtney

    Yes, kiwi strawberry is a much more manly flavor than pink lemonade. *snort*

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    Reply
  4. Michael Avatar
    Michael

    Kiwi strawberry is an exotic drink from the far reaches of the planet. Drinking kiwi-strawberry shows that I am a world traveler, experienced in the ways of the world. Highly intelligent and sophisticated.

    Pink lemonade doesn’t do that. When men drink it, it screams, “GIVE ME A WEDGIE!”

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    Reply

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About Me

Michael, a sinner saved by grace, sharing what the good Lord has shared with me.

Solomon, in the book of Ecclesiastes, said, “I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”

If you’re not living for the glory of God, then what you’re doing is meaningless, no matter what it is. Living for God gives life meaning, and enjoying a “chasing after the wind” is a gift from God. I’m doing what I can to enjoy this gift daily.

Got questions? I’m not surprised. If you have any questions about Chasing the Wind, you can email me at chasingthewind@outlook.com.

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