Dressed for Success

There's a perfectly rational explanation why I'm walking down a busy Houston street on Father's Day with green Mickey Mouse socks and a bright yellow acrylic purse with bananas on it. When I woke up Sunday morning, the wifely one was already up. Insomnia, you see. So at 8:00am she finally went to sleep. I … Continue reading Dressed for Success

Kenya Mission, Day 7

January 2, 2006 Today's Swahili phrase: hakuna matada, which means "Disney marketing phrase." No wait, it means "no worries." I've received a lot of encouragement to continue this series - we're about halfway through - but this next day was a very important day, full of eye-opening experiences, and frankly, just hard to get a … Continue reading Kenya Mission, Day 7

Responsible Parenting

Tony at Sand in the Gears claim the title of "Father of the Year." It is the voice of a librarian, a schoolteacher, a junior senator from New York, or some other such female-type killjoy. I am physiologically and ideologically predisposed to ignore such voices. I continue my instruction. "Sir!" "You're whacking your baby's head … Continue reading Responsible Parenting

Kenya Mission, Day 6

January 1, 2006 Today's Swahili phrase: Jambo, which means "Howdy" in Texan. We used this word more than any other, I think, and it was so easy to pronounce. I meant to write these faster and closer together, but the work load skyrocketed on me the last couple of weeks. Several of you have encouraged … Continue reading Kenya Mission, Day 6

Kenya Mission, Day 5

December 31, 2005 Today's Swahili phrase: Mungu aku bariki, meaning "God bless you." Woke up this morning and fixed a group breakfast. Staying in a compound with very considerate Christians is a blessing - every helped with breakfast preparation and cleanup almost to the point where were were tripping over each other. We were almost … Continue reading Kenya Mission, Day 5

Great Balls of Fire

Goodness, I joined my wife for lunch today and couldn't help but notice the sky was a funny color. Usually it's a very dark, almost black color, but at lunch it was a light blue color with fluffy white splotches. And there was this great big yellow glowing thing, just hovering there. Scary.

Kenya Mission, Day 4

December 30, 2005 Goodness, can it be Friday already?  We left Houston Tuesday afternoon and we're still not at our final destination.  It's like Africa is on the other side of the world or something.  😛 We woke up in the Methodist Guest House in Nairobi, and in the light we could see how quaint … Continue reading Kenya Mission, Day 4

Kenya Mission, Day 2 & 3

December 28, 2005 We arrived in London at Heathrow Airport after the overnight, overseas flight, about as refreshed as, well, people that had been on an overnight, overseas flight. Simple little trip over to Gatwick; our flight to Nairobi doesn't leave until tomorrow so we have an afternoon here. I learned something about London. It … Continue reading Kenya Mission, Day 2 & 3

Kenya Mission, Day 1

December 27, 2005 I've been remiss in my blogging duties; oddly, I actually crossed "blog about Kenya" off my todo list accidentally, and it wasn't until a friend email yesterday that I realized I had not written about this trip. Let me preface this whole adventure by saying that I thank God for the opportunity … Continue reading Kenya Mission, Day 1

Parking Lot Angst

Preface: obviously, it's a slow news day. I haven't actually spent a lot of time thinking about this, but it beats that news item about Splash, the Amazing Swimming Dog That Can Do Things Mary Jo Can't. For those inclined to commiserate, instruct, condemn, console, well, here's your chance to do all of that. I … Continue reading Parking Lot Angst

A Simple Light

"In all of this haste, all of this shopping, all of this worrying about budgets and finding the right thing for that difficult-to-shop-for friend, amidst the travel and houses full of family, the grumpy uncles and the weepy aunts, it’s hard to remember this time of year offers some beautiful opportunities."

Church Service in Germany

I have much to be thankful for this morning. My wife and family are safe and there has been little or no damage. Diane has no electricity, but she does have a phone, and my phone bill from here will be horrendous. She and the puppies spent the night in the homemade "bunker" under the … Continue reading Church Service in Germany

I'm On the Phone

I have a Cingular cell phone account. My wife has an AT&T cell phone account, but AT&T is owned by Cingular. I want to combine these onto a single bill. I call Cingular Migration. They tell me I have to call AT&T Customer Care first. AT&T Customer Care tells me they have to transfer the … Continue reading I'm On the Phone

A Frosted Flakes Man

After I came across this story at Spin the Moon, I remembered this little episode this past weekend. While visiting my brother this past weekend, we stayed at the Holiday Inn Express on the other side of town. I went downstairs for breakfast and a father was there with his 4 year old son. The … Continue reading A Frosted Flakes Man

Other Than That, Not Much Is New

I ran into some coworkers from my last project this morning while getting coffee. It had been, oh, 6 months since I'd last seen them. "Hey Mike! It's good to see you! What's new?" Not much really, thanks for asking. Oh, well, I am doing a complete remodelling of the downstairs in preparation for a … Continue reading Other Than That, Not Much Is New

Patch the Cone Head

I took Patch back to the vet today; he's recovering very well from last Friday's surgery. He has plenty of energy and doesn't seem to be in any pain. But he's starting to lick and inflame the suture. The doctor put some neosporin on the suture and gave Patch a nice soft blue satellite collar. … Continue reading Patch the Cone Head

Patch and the Knife-Wielding Man

Here's something I don't talk about very often: my dog's testicles. After last week's episodes of Patch sneaking next door to visit Lilly in heat, I decided behavior modification was in order. Patch was seriously frustrated all last week; yipping, barking, digging, running in and out of the doggy door. 24 hours a day for … Continue reading Patch and the Knife-Wielding Man

Patch Escapes!

When I got home tonight, Patch was in a frenzy of barking. Apparently Lilly, the black labrador in heat next door, was doing that sexy beckoning to him all day. Janice, Lilly's owner, knocked on my door when I got home tonight. At 10:30pm, it's a little late so I was wary until I realized … Continue reading Patch Escapes!

Sock Thieves

I have way too many socks. I buy socks because socks disappear and they must be replaced. I have 3 drawers full of socks - dress socks, white socks, short exercise socks, boot socks... Wait a sec. I'm packing my bag for the gym, and I want those short white socks. I must own a … Continue reading Sock Thieves

Testify

Matthew 12:34: For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. I've been asked to share my testimony at Second Baptist church this weekend. Everybody that comes to Christ has a story about how they finally gave up their stubborn ways and finally listened to what God has been saying to them. I … Continue reading Testify

Cold & Flu & Sinus Information Overload

I'm still dragging myself around after recovering from yesterday's flu, so I thought I'd run by the little overpriced sundry shop downstairs (affectionately known as "That Little Overpriced Sundry Shop Downstairs"). The choices included: Tylenol Cold & Flu Tylenol Allergy & Sinus Tylenol Cold & Allergy & Sinus Tylenol Sinus & Cold Tylenol Sinus & … Continue reading Cold & Flu & Sinus Information Overload

The Crud

The Crud Starring Michael in his first full feature length flu. Rated PG, children shouldn't come anywhere near this man. Parents ought to stay away, too. Epic motion picture. It's called "epic" because hours go by and nothing seems to happen. In fact, I think I'll go back to bed now. Must Sneeze - Roger … Continue reading The Crud

Where Oh Where Has My Firefly Gone?

I am not a brownshirt, although it's certainly starting to look like it. After buying the Firefly DVD series last August, I watched an episode with Sean. Well... ok, more than one. After the first episode, he said he could stay for another. And then another. I think we watched 5 in a row before … Continue reading Where Oh Where Has My Firefly Gone?

Things I Learned While On Business

If I can possibly help it, I will never buy a minivan. I rented a Chevy Shoebox (so named for the comfort factor) since I was the driver for 5 guys. From Ewing, NJ, I-95 intersects US Highway 1 whether you head north or south. If the directions to the manufacturing plant read, "Take I-95 … Continue reading Things I Learned While On Business

Quickie Chocolate Mousse

Dessert was cappucino and chocolate mousse. Since I had dried chocolate on my nose when Diane showed up, she already knew I had been sampling the dessert: Quickie Chocolate Mousse 1 (12 oz) package semisweet chocolate morsels 1/2 cup sugar (I substituted Splenda, no sense killing myself if I don't have to.) 3 eggs 1 … Continue reading Quickie Chocolate Mousse

Mexican Lasagna

So, where was I? Oh yes, my 3-day weekend. Saturday morning I woke up with one of those headaches, but I'm getting better at curing them. Only 2 Advils this time with an ice pack to the back of the head for an hour or so. By noon, I was feeling pretty good again. Good … Continue reading Mexican Lasagna

Weekend Recap – With Recipes!

What a wonderful weekend. Have I ever mentioned how much I love my 3-day weekends? 3-Day Weekends! 3-Day Weekends! 3-Day Weekends! Oops, sorry, carried away there for a sec. 🙂 I can see I enjoyed the weekend so much I forgot to post a thing, so let me get caught up here. My weekend actually … Continue reading Weekend Recap – With Recipes!

Due to Inflation, Inches Are Longer

Once upon a time, I could walk into any department store and buy a pair of pants that fit. 34" inseam, 34" waist. They always fit perfectly. Over the last 5 years I've gained a little weight and I'm now wearing 38/34, but I'm working that off again (I've lost 17 lbs in 2 months!) … Continue reading Due to Inflation, Inches Are Longer

Go Dogs, Go!

A houseful of dogs for Christmas was most amusing. Patch is used to having the house by himself most of the time, and most of the time he's very well behaved. He leaves the occasional brown surprise behind the sofa, I suppose, but what dog doesn't? Patch doesn't usually chew slippers or possess other destructive … Continue reading Go Dogs, Go!

Christmas Packages

They looked at me like I was crazy. I had a larger family gathering planned for Christmas this year, but those plans got derailed this year. My stepfather went into the hospital for a whole laundry list of problems (thank you for your prayers, by the way - he's home and doing much better!), and … Continue reading Christmas Packages

His and Hers, But She's Going to Jail

Let me tell you of a story about a man named Frank; he almost got his girl arrested, he's going to get a spank. Then one day he was looking so cool, and then the next he was looking like a fool. Time, that is. Incarceration. Camp Cupcake. Er, sorry for the bad Beverly Hillbillies … Continue reading His and Hers, But She's Going to Jail

Faith and Love – Brian Holman's Story

Don't we often complain that the news gives us only the bad news? When the news gives us a story of faith, hope, and love, let's celebrate it. Brian Holman, former pitcher for the Seattle Mariners, has a family full of trials, from his own rehab to a child falling off a snow resort chairlift … Continue reading Faith and Love – Brian Holman's Story

Saturday Stress Relief

I went to visit my step-father in the hospital today; I hope to visit him tomorrow if he's up for company. I had trouble finding a parking spot because they had torn up the road for construction. At home, I met with a contractor to install a new dryer vent. He was here for 4 … Continue reading Saturday Stress Relief

Would You Like Some Free Money?

On my way to the cafeteria this morning for coffee, I stopped at the ATM to get some cash. Another man was just finishing up; I waited 5 seconds or so and then he walked away. Instead of the "Please insert your card," the ATM screen said, "Would you like another transaction?" The man in … Continue reading Would You Like Some Free Money?

No Good Deed Unpunished

I wouldn't normally post this except I'm amused. 😛 Coming home from church last night (the 2nd of four Advent studies), I stopped to fill up with gas. Swipe my card, fill up, swap the windows, hang up the nozzle, get back in the car... And a young woman interrupts just before I close the … Continue reading No Good Deed Unpunished

Customer Service Humbugs

I hit the gym on the way home, and on the Bally's entry door is a poster I've not seen before, something about a sweepstakes and I need to get a card punched. All I have to do is exercise 12 times between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I'm probably halfway there already. All the service … Continue reading Customer Service Humbugs

Blood Pressure

After my teensy weensy salad for lunch, I stopped by the automatic blood pressure machine. I stepped up on the pad, placed my arm in the cuff. The automated voice said, "Press the blue button that best describes your height in shoes." I picked 6' 2", even though I'm shrinking as I get older. I … Continue reading Blood Pressure

Random Conversations

Scene: Cafeteria, getting coffee. Woman near the cream and sugar, talking to her friend. Both strangers to me. Woman is somewhat on the largish side. Woman: ... not until I decide what I'm going to do. After all, everybody knows the world revolves around me. Me (interjecting a random observation): That would make me a … Continue reading Random Conversations

The Spring Has Sprung

On the garage door, that is. The release latch doesn't seem to actually release anything, so I'm stuck inside. I tried to look up a repair place on Superpages.com; what a waste of time that was. Good thing I still have old paper yellow pages. They should be here by 10:00am. In the meantime, I'm … Continue reading The Spring Has Sprung

Go to Sleep, Patch

No, Patch, I don't want to go for a walk. I hear your little whines, I'm not getting up. I wish you'd settle down; you keep running to the back patio, then jumping on the bed, giving a little whine, running back outside again. You've been doing this all day. Yes, I know the dog … Continue reading Go to Sleep, Patch

Lost Lions and Ambush Dining

Ok, I'm evil. I really, really, try to be good. In fact, I think a cornerstone of my faith depends on it. But every once in a while I get this idea... I sent the following email to the "Lost Lions," four of us that were once close high school friends and have recently reunionized … Continue reading Lost Lions and Ambush Dining

It Makes Me Nauseous

There's a industrial strength pencil sharpener over the wall in the next cubicle. When the draftsman, er... draftswoman uses it, the display on my monitor goes all wonky. A warped, vibrating display. Makes me queasy. If the sharpening noises would just start a split second earlier, I could learn to look away for those 5 … Continue reading It Makes Me Nauseous

Oops. I Stepped In It.

This story has been bothering me for a week. Yesterday it finally dawned on me why it bothered me, so this morning I did something about it. It basically comes down to there's something between Steve and Tamara, and I don't know the truth. And I really don't want to. But if a) Steve's telling … Continue reading Oops. I Stepped In It.

The Siren Song of the Nutella

I went grocery shopping over the weekend. First time I've had to do that in a while; I had assigned that chore to Alex. Teenager, fetch me some groceries. There, next to the peanut butter, was Nutella. I had been warned that this stuff was addicting. Sinful. Irresistible. Jo sang the Nutella siren song a … Continue reading The Siren Song of the Nutella

ugh. monday.

it's monday. i know it's tuesday, but it's monday. i took the whole weekend including labor day off, and after all this overtime it felt glorious. i barely made it to work on time, and only by skipping patch's walk. he's going to leave me a present behind the sofa, i just know it. i … Continue reading ugh. monday.

Michael Swears Off Dating Again

I mentioned a few months ago that's I've mostly given up dating. For my mental health, I tell myself. Maybe once a year I'll try a date or two, then give it up again. Sometimes I think about going to the gym and working out in order to impress women, but hey, that's why I … Continue reading Michael Swears Off Dating Again

Workout Slippers

Last night's workout was cancelled due to equipment failure. I had been using my tennis shoes, but over the weekend decided to get my old racquetball shoes out of the closet to use as my gym sneaks. I put them into the gym bag and headed to work. After work at the gym, I started … Continue reading Workout Slippers

Years of Memories, One Piece of Trash at a Time

After taking Alex to college, I resolved to clean his room. It's full of typical teenage junk he's collected over the years, but mostly with his door shut, I haven't looked at it in years. Alex knew this was coming; he took the stuff that was important to him, and I promised to store memories … Continue reading Years of Memories, One Piece of Trash at a Time

My Spare Time is Gonna Kill Me

Dang it's quiet here without the noisy pitter patter of... huge teenage shoes. I'm going to have to fill this time with something worthwhile or I'll go bonkers. And I am *not* bonkers yet, wiseguy. I'm back at the gym for the first time in years. I really had no excuse, other than I'd rather … Continue reading My Spare Time is Gonna Kill Me

Open Carefully

On the second floor of my office, I found a Dasani vending machine. It dispenses bottled water. On the front is a big sign that says, "OPEN BOTTLE CAREFULLY." That's important safety information for consumers. Are you aware of how dangerous that liquid is? If one part oxygen, a highly flammable gas, isn't enough, it … Continue reading Open Carefully

Zipper Troubles

For the last couple of weeks, I've been startled to find my zipper is down at work. I'll notice it 30 minutes after a visit to the restroom and wonder if anybody else noticed it. This morning after arriving to work, I went to the cafeteria to get a quick breakfast. After finishing, I stood … Continue reading Zipper Troubles

Bark Park

Patch & I went for a little outing this morning. He knew I was heading out as I was putting on my tennis shoes; as I headed downstairs, Patch raced ahead and checked the hall coat closet to see if I was getting a leash. Puppy joy! Not just any leash, but the short brown … Continue reading Bark Park

Dancin' Donna, The Next Day

I had fun last night. We danced for about 3 hours, though I had an impression ahead of time that she was an excellent dancer. I'd say "enthusiastic" dancer would better describe her, and she was quick learner. By the end of the night I was able to lead her through some spins. I had … Continue reading Dancin' Donna, The Next Day

Dancin' Donna

I met a woman, Donna, at Patty's wedding over a month ago; somebody told her I could dance. She asked me if that was true. I don't know how to answer that question. Compared to what? Compared to a gorilla? Yeah, compared to a gorilla I dance well. Compared to Fred Astaire? Yes, compared to … Continue reading Dancin' Donna

Vending Machine Wars, Part III

First they forced me to buy sunflower seeds against my will. Then they developed chemical weapons and forced me to buy pink sissy lemonade. Today, though, I declare a victory in the battle against vending machines! The Coke machine here is an odd one - it has a clear glass front with faux icicles to … Continue reading Vending Machine Wars, Part III

Patch & His New Doggy Door

First off, I feel silly calling it a "doggy door." I don't call Patch a "doggy," so why should I call the door something so silly sounding? I'm considering calling it the "Door of Doom for the Viscious 15 lb Canine." That sounds a lot more grown-up, though it doesn't roll off the tongue so … Continue reading Patch & His New Doggy Door

Lost Lions

For some reason, Jo's recollection of Lost Lions is different than mine - she launches into a discussion of high-tech ammunitions, chemical peels, masks, arsenals of special soaps... I thought she was recovering from a terrorist attack. Really, Jo, it wasn't *that* bad. 🙂 And hey, before I forget, tomorrow's Jo's birthday. Go make her … Continue reading Lost Lions

Operation "King of the Forest"

"Your mission, Jim Michael, should you choose to accept it..." No, I haven't called (and no, this wasn't a dream). Even I, suave and debonaire Michael, have no idea what I would say if I called. Help me out here. "Hi, my name is Michael and ... " Here's a bad example: "Hi, my name … Continue reading Operation "King of the Forest"

King of the Forest

I have to get my car inspected, but that has almost nothing to do with the story. Like a good little taxpayer, I reregistered both cars - my Maxima and my son's Aurora. He's heading off to college next month and I've been trying to do last minute training at turning him into a full-fledged … Continue reading King of the Forest

Fruit for Breakfast

I asked a co-worker this morning how things were going. That's a meaningless phrase, now that I think about it. What things? Where are they going? His answer: things were just peachy. And I realized that didn't answer the question. Peachy isn't a destination. "Where are you going? Peachy?" I asked him if there were … Continue reading Fruit for Breakfast

Conversation in a Cafeteria

This morning. Cook: What you like? Me: Two eggs, slice of cheese. Cook puts 2 eggs and sausage in the to-go box. Me: I don't want any sausage. Cook dumps everything out, starts over. Cook: What you like? Me: Two eggs, slice of cheese. Cook: You want sausage? Me: Sausage? No, I don't want sausage. … Continue reading Conversation in a Cafeteria

College Orientation

I signed my son and me up for orientation at Sam Houston State University this week. It's a 2-day overnight trip, Thursday & Friday. When I read the agenda, they separate us within the first 30 minutes and I don't see my son again until the orientation is over. There's no agenda for what they … Continue reading College Orientation

Kris's Older Sister

Last night's dream was in a movie theater. Or a swimming pool. Or maybe a movie theater in a swimming pool. I'm not really sure.

There was a girl in high school, Kris. I barely knew her, haven't thought about her since 1980. All I remember about her is that she had red hair.

She had an older sister. I didn't know her at all. And *that's* who I was seeing the movie with last night.

So Kris's older sister - call me. We should talk. 😛

P.S. There were also tornadoes and wine bottle in the dream. I'm so confused.

Brender and Eddie

I dream vividly - often the dreams fade quicky, so don't try to ask me after I get to work what I dreamed last night. And by vividly, I don't mean bright colors, I mean an entire movie. Last night's movie included a soundtrack, and I scratched out the outline of the dream when I … Continue reading Brender and Eddie

Once A Year

I try to have a date once a year, whether I need one or not. :/ Actually, most of the time I don't miss dating - for somebody that always wanted to be "happily ever after," I seem to have spent most of my life as "single father." Most days now the "what-ifs" are far, … Continue reading Once A Year

Now They Have Chemical Weapons

Vending machines are evil. One vending machine forced me to buy sunflower seeds, even though I don't like sunflower seeds. The secretary still thinks I've lost it, and I still don't want to talk about it. Another time a vending machine forced me to buy pink lemonade Snapple, and I hate pink lemondade Snapple. I … Continue reading Now They Have Chemical Weapons

I'm Just Beside Myself

Dear Chasing the Wind... Recently I've become involved with someone. He's trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. A real boy scout. I find I spend all my time with him, and I enjoy my his company very much. In fact, it's like dating myself. No, I don't mean … Continue reading I'm Just Beside Myself

The Path Less Taken

Why do people come to Chasing the Wind? What answers are they seeking? What pheromone drives them buggy? What carrot moves their donkey?The first answer is simple - apparently, I'm a virtual babe magnet. I'm attracting women bloggers like buttered toast attracts cats. I dunno why, though I suspect it's the pretty colors. So subdued, … Continue reading The Path Less Taken

Patch and The Blustery Day

If you have a dog, you have to have a routine. Even if you change the routine, it's still a routine. Have to, because dogs love it.Patch, Mr. Brain of the Dog World, loves the morning routine. When I turn on the shower in the morning, his nose is in the shower. He blocks my … Continue reading Patch and The Blustery Day

Y.M.C.A.

So I'm getting ready to hang it up for the night - I'll try to add that Google site search later - when my Launchcast Internet Radio starts playing this icky, horrible song....I pop over to Launchcast to blip this monstrosity off my radio... and realize it's William Hung, the rejected Idol contestant. The judge … Continue reading Y.M.C.A.

Vending machine drama

Ok, so one day last week, I stuck 65 cents into the machine to buy a bag of M&M's, which whirled and twirled and left the M&M's dangling from the shelf. Grr. So I put some more money in - I'll buy a bag for next week, I think. The machine whirls and twirls, the … Continue reading Vending machine drama

Ow^2

Up late again. Same reason. This morning I'm driving to work, listening to a country music love song. I cried like a baby. I gotta listen to something else. Maybe go back to listening to talk radio. No, wait - politician talk about raising my taxes on talk radio. That makes me cry like a … Continue reading Ow^2

Lunch is over

I had poorly cooked vegetables for lunch and surfed for odd things on the web. I want to refinance my townhome but the dweebs at Countrywide aren't any help. See, I have a prepayment penalty for the 1st 5 years of my mortgage (currently about $3900) if I refinance early, and that 5 years ends … Continue reading Lunch is over