Aeros Hockey

Tonight I’ll be seeing the Houston Aeros at the Toyota Center, even if I do drive a Nissan. I haven’t seen them (the Aeros) on the ice in years. Diane is bringing Maritza and the kids, I’m sure we’ll have a grand time.

Here are the rules for hockey as I understand them:

1. There is a penalty called “icing.” It can happen anywhere on the ice. That’s why it’s called “icing.”
2. The score is less important than the number of times your team slugs the other team.
3. Even though that’s why you watch hockey, players get penalized if they slug somebody.
4. Don’t give a large softdrink to the kids, or you will spend a large quantity of time in the restroom with them.
5. Some people take out home equity loans if they think they’ll be buying a hot dog.
6. Even in the summer, sitting next to the rink is cold, so bring a jacket.
7. I think watching my dog walk on ice would be funny.
8. That’s not really a hockey rule though.
9. “Riding a bicycle on the ice” would be funny, too, but it’s not a hockey rule either.
10. Not that you’d ever come to this site looking for hockey rules.
11. Of course, people come here looking for “packrat psychology,” so maybe you *would* come here looking for hockey rules.
12. You won’t find any hockey rules, though. I don’t know what they are.
13. Like that would stop me from posting made-up ones though. Ha.