The Great Lion Prediction

Bitter Sanity has some insightful predictions about lionizing Saddam Hussein. I’d like to think this is fantasy, but I’m pretty sure it’s accurate:

A few predictions
I’ve been thinking that it’s only a matter of time before mainstream thought in this country begins the process of lionizing Saddam Hussein. With his trial beginning, the tone of media coverage is starting to bear out my worst fears. (You wouldn’t think it would be possible to admire someone who has done what Saddam has uncontestably done, but in a country where people wear Guevera t-shirts without hiding their faces, I suppose just about anything is possible.)

I predict:

  • The words “defiant”, “strong”, “canny”, and “independent” will become de rigeur in all stories concerning Saddam’s trial.
  • The meme that the trial is “illegal” (because not blessed by “international-law experts”) will spread. Shortly, it will be routine to refer to the “illegal trial” in editorials, and to “the trial, whose legality is disputed” in news coverage.
  • If and when he is executed, the television news coverage will feature somber voices.
  • On the day, no Iraqis who were victims themselves or who lost family will be quoted. Only Baathist voices will be heard, mourning “the great lion”, and so on.
  • Editorials will announce that since obviously the Iraqi people mourn Saddam Hussein, his execution will only increase the “Iraqi” “insurgency”.
  • Within two months, Saddam’s daughter Raghad will be the subject of a sympathetic television interview, perhaps by Barbara Walters. The interviewer will not ask her what kind of a tree she would be, but will ask how she felt “the day you lost your father”.
  • Raghad will do a lecture tour of the US, and will be invited to speak at several prominent universities.
  • None of the victims of Saddam Hussein will be invited to speak in any of these venues, then or in the future.

* Via American Digest

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Whimsy

At The Journey, Rodney wonders about insects with low self-esteem. There’s something wrong with Rodney.

Officials in Rome, Italy, have solved one of the world’s most pressing problems by banning the use of round goldfish bowls.

Oil Slicks.  They Make the Water Pretty. If you want to Taunt Libs, there are some new t-shirts available. Hey, it’s what they think about conservatives anyway, so might as well have fun with it.

Here’s a game that requires absolutely no skill. If you play, post a) your score and b) how many hours you spent watching the little squiggles roll around. Me, 3 minutes, 1603 points. Ha, beat that.

If you have a fun link for the day, let me know and I’ll post it here. 🙂

Update: Sean adds Mr. Wrinkle to today’s whimsical sites. I wonder about Sean, too.

Update2: Jo adds Stuff on My Cat which is all about… um, putting stuff on a cat.

Macho Man is Endangered? By What?

Seriously, I have trouble imagining the world that these people come from. Their planet must be painted in pastels and have a lovely floral scent.

PARIS (AFP) – Macho man is an endangered species, with today’s male more likely to opt for a pink flowered shirt and swingers’ clubs than the traditional role as family super-hero, fashion industry insiders say.

“The masculine ideal is being completely modified. All the traditional male values of authority, infallibility, virility and strength are being completely overturned,” said Pierre Francois Le Louet, the agency’s managing director.

Instead today’s males are turning more towards “creativity, sensitivity and multiplicity,” as seen already in recent seasons on the catwalks of Paris and Milan.

“We are watching the birth of a hybrid man. … Why not put on a pink-flowered shirt and try out a partner-swapping club?” asked Le Louet, stressing that the study had focused on men aged between 20 and 35.

Uh-huh. So women want this:
Not a macho man

instead of this?
Macho. Definitely macho.

I’m thinking these “fashion insiders” have it all wrong. It’s the flowery guy that’s endangered. Not only do women want masculine men (and keeping in mind that as far as I know, women are the ones who have babies), but the flowery guy will probably not survive junior high gym class, due to “Death by Wedgie.”

The Casual Abortion

Last week, a new report came out that showed women were more casual about abortions now – rather than something to be avoided, some women would have multiple abortions instead of using birth control (or heaven forbid, abstaining altogether).

A dramatic rise in repeat abortions has reinforced fears that women are increasingly having terminations for lifestyle reasons.

Women between 20 and 24 have taken over from teenagers as the largest age group to have terminations, while only one in 100 abortions is carried out solely because of a medical risk to the baby.

“Lifestyle reasons”? As if that attitude toward eliminating a baby wasn’t cavalier enough, a radio show in Washington D.C. had a call-in contest for the listener with the most abortions. Some callers asked if there was a prize, like a t-shirt or a shop-vac.

First, there’s the woman who had a forced abortion when she was 13.

Caller: “Yeah, hi, you’re, you’re uh talking about abortion.”
Elliot: “Yes. Just having a little contest.”
Caller: “Yeah, I was uh 13 and dating this guy for like six months. I got pregnant by him.”
Elliot: “At 13?!”
Caller: “Yeah. And I don’t really know my mother’s side of the family that well.”
Elliot: “Right”
Caller: “So we went to one of his family get-togethers and I recognized the lady that turned out to be my grandmother.”
Elliot: “Pardon me?”
Caller: “And it turns out that he was my second cousin”
Elliot: “Sweet.”
Caller: “I was like two months pregnant and my father forced me to get an abortion.” Laughter.

Ugh. Catholic Online andMichelle Malkin don’t think it’s funny, either.

Burrito Boy Terrorizes School

I think the boy got off light. I’ve had burritos that could be classified as dangerous weapons. They sell microwave burritos that can gas an entire car full of beach-going friends, and they should be outlawed.

CLOVIS, N.M. – A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school. All over a giant burrito.

Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High.

The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.

“I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry,” school Principal Diana Russell said.

State police, Clovis police and the Curry County Sheriff’s Department arrived at the school shortly after 8:30 a.m. They searched the premises and determined there was no immediate danger.

In the meantime, more than 30 parents, alerted by a radio report, descended on the school. Visibly shaken, they gathered around in a semi-circle, straining their necks, awaiting news.

“There needs to be security before the kids walk through the door,” said Heather Black, whose son attends the school.

After the lockdown was lifted but before the burrito was identified as the culprit, parents pulled 75 students out of school, Russell said.

Russell said the mystery was solved after she brought everyone in the school together in the auditorium to explain what was going on.

“The kid was sitting there as I’m describing this (report of a student with a suspicious package) and he’s thinking, ‘Oh, my gosh, they’re talking about my burrito.'”

Afterward, eighth-grader Michael Morrissey approached her.

“He said, ‘I think I’m the person they saw,'” Russell said.

The burrito was part of Morrissey’s extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product.

“We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos,” Morrissey said.

After students heard the description of what police were looking for, he and his friends began to make the connection. He then took the burrito to the office.

“The police saw it and everyone just started laughing. It was a laughter of relief,” Morrissey said.

“Oh, and I have a new nickname now. It’s Burrito Boy.”

Dale Earnhardt and Chim Chim

Give me some candy, Chim Chim!

This post will be too long, so here’s the end of the story first: I bought my brother this t-shirt (click for larger image):

OK, now I’ll back up to the beginning. A synopsis of random nonsense all munged together for your amusement. 🙂

I still get a lot of visitors here looking for Dale Earnhardt and his girlfriend Kortney (Kortnie? Courtney? Cortnie? I dunno, better spell it every which way to help the search engines.) Look way down on the left side menu under “Referral Links) and you’ll see the latest searches that led people here. Here are some of the searches I’ve seen this morning:

  • two way glass public toilet in houston texas
  • 2005 texas deer lease
  • Wanita Renea Young (the mean lady that sued the cookie girls)
  • Orion Slave Girl
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  • trackback link blogger
  • ostergaard (one of the cookie girls)
  • elite rich
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  • dale earnhardt junior and girlfriend
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Man. I write about some eclectic stuff. None of those things are related.

Anyway… where was I? Oh yeah. Once upon a time I made up a goofy story about Dale breaking up with Kortney and checking into a rehab clinic for an addiction to honey, and Kortney running off with Speed Racer. I get lots of strangers stopping by saying “I LUV U DALE” – there are 145 comments to this post.

I sort of egged the Dale Earnhardt lunatics on with this piece of nonsense:

Kortnie (who also goes by the nom de plume of Courtney and maybe even Cortnie or Kourtney) has denied allegations of infidelity. “Speed Racer and I are just friends,” Kortnie claims. “Do I look like Trixie to you?” She also refused to discuss her relationship with Chim Chim after pictures of her monkeying with him surfaced.

To which my brother Stephen replied,

ChimChim!!!!
Give me some candy!

So of course I ordered him the tee-shirt with Chim Chim on it. It is sooooo my brother, too. If you missed his followup, he told me he was so stressed by his doorbell ringing (shades of cookie girl neighbors!), that he’s going to sue:

You might wanna blog about why you are sending you little brother a shirt with a chimp on it. When the postman knocked on my door, nobody answered and I got upset and my stomach started to churn. I had to be rushed to the hospital. Emergency shirt-endectomy. Who’s gonna pay my medical bills?

😆 Thanks for the shirt. I laughed for an hour. Then my side hurt and I called 911….

There. Dale Earnhardt, Winne-the-Pooh, Chim Chim and the Cookie Girls, and my brother’s upcoming surgery and lawsuit, all wrapped up nice and neat. 😛