Conversation with stressed-out co-worker:
Me: Ugh. I need a vacation.
Them: You? I can’t even see out of my eyeballs. I need a vacation!
Me: I’m going to shoot you with this rubber band.
Them: I won’t even be able to see it coming… er, how is that going to help me?
Me: It won’t help you at all. But me? They’ll send me home.

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