Our Selections Have Recently Changed

“Please listen to our entire menu because our selections have recently changed.”

I hear this phrase nearly everytime I call an automatic phone system. Before I can press 1 if I want to hear my balance, press 2 if I want to schedule a service technician, press 3 if I want to listen to Huey Lewis “Hip to Be Square,” press 4 if I want to press 5, press 6 if I want to repeat these options, (and notice at no time am I offered to talk to a real person from India), I hear this phrase.

“Please listen to our entire menu because our selections have recently changed.”

How recently? Since this morning? Since Hoover was president? I think I could have shaved an entire year off my life on hold if I didn’t hear that phrase every single time.

Not that I’ve been on hold recently.

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