Once upon a time, I could walk into any department store and buy a pair of pants that fit. 34″ inseam, 34″ waist. They always fit perfectly. Over the last 5 years I’ve gained a little weight and I’m now wearing 38/34, but I’m working that off again (I’ve lost 17 lbs in 2 months!)
Last year I bought a pair of jeans, 38/34, took them home… and they were too long. Because I procrastinate, I eventually had them altered. I had 2″ taken off the length. I thought it odd that they were too long. My inseam doesn’t change, does it?
Today I realize a pair of pants I’ve had for the last couple of years is too long. I’ve been stepping on the back of the pants leg all day. I’m not going to panic – I most certainly am not shrinking.
So what could be the cause of these protracted, prolonged pants? Here are some ideas I’ve come up with:
- I’m wearing shorter shoes. If my shoes are shorter, the pants will hang longer. But I just wear plain old men’s shoes with maybe 1″ high shoes. I’m certain I’ve never owned 3″ high shoes.
- Due to inflation, 34 inches from 20 years ago is now 36″. So I need to buy 2005 32″ inseam in order to get the 34″ inches I expect. You would think I’d need a smaller waist size, too, but that hasn’t happened.
- Due to the extra medium large waist, my weight is compressing my legs. Once I was 34″, now 32″, eventually I’ll compress until I’m just a torso sitting on the ground. I’ll need to be outfitted with roller skates to get around. The extra weight might be compressing my shoes, too, now that I think of it.
- My son is performing an incredibly complex practical joke on my by lengthening all my pants by 2″ so I feel shorter.
I don’t know what it is, but I’ll get to the bottom of it. And at the rate I’m shrinking, I won’t even have to bend over.
Chasing the Wind 
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