Dogs are loving. All the time. Unless they're cowering because they've done something wrong, dogs are loving. Cats never cower. They're proud of what they've done wrong. I suspect they spend all day plotting what to do with their inheritance once you're gone. Others agree. My Cat Hates You has proof.
Category: Fun Stuff
Ok, *I* thought it was funny. Pffft.
Movie-A-Minute
Does it take too much time to actually sit through an entire move? Visit Movie-a-Minute and know all you need to know... in less than a minute! For example: Titanic Directed by James Cameron 1997 Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Leonardo DiCaprio: Your social class is stuffy. Let's dance with the ship's rats and have … Continue reading Movie-A-Minute
Caption Contest
Winner gets a gold-plated Attaboy:
The Award for Best Finger
The award for Best Finger goes to... Harrison Ford!
Big Red Button
Please don't press this big red button.
Interesting Google Satellite Maps
More on the Google Maps service that I really like: here's a list of interesting Google Satellite Maps, including Bill Gate's house, Statue of Liberty, and Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch.
Worst Baby Name Ever
I suppose you could come up with something worse than "Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K". How, I don't know. According to Lonestar Times, the first name is pronounced "Your highness," but it looks more like "Your hineys" to me. I’m told that "Urhines" is pronounced "Your Highness." I wonder if the parents used old … Continue reading Worst Baby Name Ever
Edible Computers
My hobby, ever since around 1975, has been computers. I play games, I dabble in programming, I communicate with others... but I've always wished I could just eat my monitor. My wish is nearly here. The Tastescreen has small plastic flavor cartridges that drip flavors across the monitor. "A user can sample the dispensed flavor … Continue reading Edible Computers
In Need of a Caption
Provide a caption to this photo. Winners get an all expense paid trip to right where they are! Losers stay put.
Yagoohoogle!
Happy First Contact Day
On April 5th, 2063, Vulcans will first land on Earth and establish First Contact between humans and extraterrestrials. What are you doing to celebrate?
Pig Jumping
Apparently I was uninspired today. Terry Schiavo, Indonesian earthquake, some research into apostolic succession and the Catholic church... must be Monday. So here's a picture of some pigs hurdling instead.
Amazing Sand
History of the world as told in an amazing sand display. Wow.
Useless Information
There is a freefly skydiving maneuver called a "Double Spock." It looks like this:
Googlisms for Friday
What's your Googlism? Something fun to do for the weekend. 🙂 Some of mine are: michael is one hot papi chulo michael is very sexy michael is not only ugly michael is guilty michael is innocent michael is £30 michael is going on tour michael is gonna be ok michael is the best michael is … Continue reading Googlisms for Friday
Stress Relief
By the end of yesterday's workday, I felt like this little piggy when you click on him. A good night's sleep and I feel better. 🙂 My brother Stephen comes into town for the weekend, so I'm off to play for the rest of the day. No more stressful piggy for me, no sirree.
Giving Away Free Kittens
To all my dearest friends, I need some help. My cousin's cat had kittens and he was able to give away all but 3 of them. I told him I would help him find homes for the last 3. I can't take one because my girlfriend is allergic, but if three of you could take … Continue reading Giving Away Free Kittens
Scented Bowling Balls
When pressed about the toughest problems to solve in the world - the Israeli / Palestinian crisis, escalation of property taxes, paper or plastic, obviously ranked right up there is... what should your bowling ball smell like? The current scents available are black cherry, chocolate, lemonade, plum, blueberry, grape, banana, cinnamon, orange, amaretto and cherry. … Continue reading Scented Bowling Balls
Brady Bunch Kung Fu Video Game
Have you ever seen a news article for a new product and thought, "Man, that's a bad idea. A real baaaad idea." I had that reaction when I heard that the Brady Bunch was being made into a Kung Fu fighting video game for mobile phones. Each of the game's eight fighters (Mike Brady been … Continue reading Brady Bunch Kung Fu Video Game
My New Toy: iRiver H10
I confess: working out bores me. I need something to do with my brain. The local Bally's has some music playing too low to hear and some tv's that are only visible from a few ellipticals. I planned on buying an iPod Mini, but changed my mind at the last minute and bought an iRiver … Continue reading My New Toy: iRiver H10
Bouncy Stuff
Boing boing boing. Just some weekend amusement. 🙂 What's your score? I can break 1500, but over 6000 is possible.
$3 Million for Star Trek
TrekUnited.com is reporting that three anonymous donors have pledged $3 million toward a campaign to keep Star Trek: Enterprise alive for a 5th season. "We think Star Trek and especially its latest incarnation, "Enterprise" is the kind of TV that should be aired more often. The people responsible at Paramount think this is just a … Continue reading $3 Million for Star Trek
Fight to Save Star Trek: Enterprise Goes On
In the news today, fans have the attention of the media. They've given up on Paramount, and are instead trying to find somebody else willing to pick up the production costs. Details at Trek United and Save Enterprise. It's the only television show I watch with any regularity. Please donate all your income to saving … Continue reading Fight to Save Star Trek: Enterprise Goes On
Another Hillary Conspiracy Theory
The cynic in me suspects this is an attempt to get Americans used to having a female President in an attempt to add support to Hillary Clinton's 2008 presidential bid. Geena Davis Elected to ABC's White House Drama LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Oscar winner Geena Davis will star as the first female president of … Continue reading Another Hillary Conspiracy Theory
C&W Music
There are a lot of reasons why I like listening to C&W. Lyrics often give thanks to God. Lyrics often support our troops and our country. Lyrics often champion doing what's right over what you want. Lyrics express all types of love in a positive way.I can actually hear and understand the lyrics. I can … Continue reading C&W Music
Vegitative Lifestyle
The funniest search today is "vegitative lifestyle." Somebody expending a lot of energy learning how to be lazy. 😆 Ok, I'm tired of being the Dale Earnhardt official website. Instead, I'm going to be the foremost authority on vegitative lifestyles, as soon as I get the energy to go do some research. 🙂
Tetris 1D
Like Tetris? Wish it was easier? Tetris 1D.
Corpse Springs to Life in Hearse, Terrifies Populace
Witnesses reported a lot of screaming: * From James Lilek's twisted sense of humor *
Mortor
Rattlesnake Toilet Seat Cover
Sometimes it's hard shopping for my brother, but I think I've found something he would like. Hard to believe it's never been used.
The Somerville Gates
Like the famous Christo's "The Gates" in Central Park, only, um, different. Presenting the Somerville Gates: Update Feb 26, 2005: BOSTON - "The Gates," a public design project in New York's Central Park by artists Christo and Jeanne-Claude, is giant, "saffron colored" and cost $20 million. "The Somerville Gates," by financial adviser Geoff Hargadon, is … Continue reading The Somerville Gates
Microsoft is 1337
M1st3r S0ftee nos !337$p34k. \/\/0\/\/.
Loonatics
Superhero Loonytunes: In the year 2772, Bugs Bunny will be Super Bugs Bunny. Just in case you thought they had run out of ideas on television, you know.
Which is Weirder?
On the weirdness scale, which one of these two is the weirdest? On one hand, California is considering mandating that each car is outfitted with a GPS to monitor when and how much you drive so they can tax you by the mile, perhaps even charging you a surcharge for driving during rush hour. [Engineer … Continue reading Which is Weirder?
Saving Enterprise
There's a last-ditch effort to save Star Trek: Enterprise. A full page fan-sponsored ad will be appearing February 21st, and a fan rally at Paramount Studios in Hollywood on February 25th. The writing on Enterprise this 4th year is superb; if they had started the series this way, it would still be on the air. … Continue reading Saving Enterprise
The Endless Octave Ascending
Well, that's certainly interesting. For a while. Ok, that's enough. Enough. I said ENOUGH. Aaaaiiiigggghhhhh!!!!!
Dale Earnhardt and Chim Chim
This post will be too long, so here's the end of the story first: I bought my brother this t-shirt (click for larger image): OK, now I'll back up to the beginning. A synopsis of random nonsense all munged together for your amusement. 🙂 I still get a lot of visitors here looking for Dale … Continue reading Dale Earnhardt and Chim Chim
Life of an Engineer
Contrary to what the lovely Miss Vox said recently, the following is not true. Not at all. It's a button from Think Geek. Click the button for the website. Mathematically. Ha. Mathcad was of absolutely no use. Any engineer could figure that out; you have to use the best tool for the job. I'm using … Continue reading Life of an Engineer
To Boldly Go… Look, It's Really Gone Now
Star Trek: Enterprise is cancelled. The writing was dramatically improved this year, but it's too late. Viewership started at 13 million a week the first year, but now it's down to 2.9 million. The series was cancelled early enough to write a series finale, scheduled for May 13. I've been watching Star Trek episode with … Continue reading To Boldly Go… Look, It's Really Gone Now
Overslept
Overslept. Late for work. Had to hurry this morning. See, when the alarm clock went off this morning, I opened my eyes and the whole room was dark; it was in shadows. I was frightened. I knew what to do: I hit the snooze alarm to get six more weeks 10 more minutes of napping. … Continue reading Overslept
I'm a Sock
I don't usually do these questionnaires, but this made Jo laugh: She's a sock. And of *course* I want to be a random object. What am I? Turns out I'm a sock, too. You are a sock.You are a cozy, fuzzy, warm-hearted person. A lot of your friends describe you as a hopeless romantic. You … Continue reading I'm a Sock
Wongdoody Fact Sheet
Just supposing the owner of your company is Doody, Wong, and Wiener... why would you name your company Wongdoody? Curious minds want to know what happened to the Wiener.
Fantasy Coffins
When I die, I'd like to be buried in a solemn, dignified way. Like in a coffin shaped like a giant shoe. Let's say a giant shoe isn't your thing. "But Michael," you say, "my sole is at rest. What other coffins are available." I'm glad you asked. At Fantasy Coffins, you can also be … Continue reading Fantasy Coffins
Bill Gates circa 1983
I'll be back from my trip later today. I hope y'all were good while I was gone. In the meantime, here is something scarier than disemboweled plush toys or a Cheetoh shaped like the Loch Ness monster: Bill Gates, circa 1983, poses for a Teen Beat photospread:
Secrets of the Magic Eight Ball
Business trip still, but I'll be back tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm going to reveal a little secret: The Magic Eight Ball is a phony. Pfft. No way can it tell the future. Here's how it works: Secrets of the Magic Eight Ball
Circus of Disemboweled Plush Toys
Still away on a business trip this week, and since I won't read your reactions for a couple of days, I'll leave you with something slightly disturbing for Wednesday: The Circus of Disemboweled Plush Toys. It includes the tragic picture of Slicey McLamb. Sniff.
The Museum of Food Anomalies
I'm away on a business trip this week, and probably won't have access to a computer. Nonetheless, through the magic of, um, post-dating entries ahead of time, I'll have a new amusement every day while I'm gone around noontime. I don't want you to be bored just cuz I'm busy, you know. 🙂 First up … Continue reading The Museum of Food Anomalies
Academy Award Nominations
The Academy Award nominations are out. Zero nominations for the lying, misrepresenting, sleazy Michael Moore. Zero for Falsehood 9/11. I laugh. Mwahahaha. "The Aviator" got 11 nominations. Hmm. I hadn't been interested in it, but it's still at the theaters. I may have to put that one back on the list of movies to see. … Continue reading Academy Award Nominations
Odd Seaches and New Visitors
Today's odd searches that led people to Chasing the Wind: John Kerry the Pastamancer hari raya haji greeting her son has a big day ahead of him. so why did she choose nutella? beer and seizure activity r u n n o f t I am cow hear me moo boston draftsman pencil sharpener principle … Continue reading Odd Seaches and New Visitors
Lasered Eyeballs
I'd appreciate your prayers today. I'll be having Lasik surgery this afternoon. Having your eyeballs lasered sounds like some "B" movie science fiction torture method, but I'm assured this surgery is a positive thing. I'll try to post an update when my vision recovers.
Connect the Dots
When I put on my pants, my dog runs out of the room. I know why, too. Can you guess?
Aeros Hockey
Tonight I'll be seeing the Houston Aeros at the Toyota Center, even if I do drive a Nissan. I haven't seen them (the Aeros) on the ice in years. Diane is bringing Maritza and the kids, I'm sure we'll have a grand time. Here are the rules for hockey as I understand them: There is … Continue reading Aeros Hockey
Psycho Rats
I've discovered this morning that if you search on Google for "what is the psychological term for a packrat?," your #1 reference source is Chasing the Wind. If you're searching for "taoism tsunami," though, Chasing the Wind ranks #9. You must be pretty desperate to come here looking for tsunami taoism. 🙂
LEGO Church
The Abston Church of Christ (Abston is a fictional town, named after the plastic that LEGO is made from (ABS)) in all it's glory. Click the picture for the main website; one you're there, explore all the rooms and the construction history. If I was a LEGO person, I'd spend my Sundays here. 🙂
Random Searches
Now that the Dale Earnhardt craze is nearly over, it's fun again to look over the search terms and see why people are coming to visit Chasing the Wind. ns.exe gaobot People still struggling with viruses and looking for solutions. john kerry daughters No pictures here, fellas. Move along. bobbie sue luthor naked Still no … Continue reading Random Searches
Free Online Jigsaw Puzzles
I found another way for you to amble, bum, bum around, dally, diddle-daddle, dilly-dally, drag, fool around, fritter away, goof around, goof off, hang about, hang around, hang out, idle, jack around, lag, laze, lazy, loaf, loiter, loll, lounge, mosey, poke, poke along, procrastinate, put off, saunter, screw off, scrounge around, shlep along, sit around, … Continue reading Free Online Jigsaw Puzzles
Time Well Spent
Anytime I start to think that I mis-spend my personal time by playing games, watching tv, or finding games like "Slingshot Santa," I can return time and time again to this site and think, "at least I'm not still trying to contest the 2000 election and put Al Gore back in the Presidency." The time … Continue reading Time Well Spent
A Melted, Chocolate Truffle? I'm Doomed!
Yeah, I may have lost a lot of weight the last two months, but that's because Starbucks wasn't offering this: SEATTLE--Jan. 5, 2005--Beginning January 8, 2005, Starbucks Coffee Company will offer Chantico drinking chocolate in Starbucks stores throughout the United States and Canada. Best described as a "drinkable dessert," Chantico drinking chocolate has an intense, … Continue reading A Melted, Chocolate Truffle? I'm Doomed!
Due to Inflation, Inches Are Longer
Once upon a time, I could walk into any department store and buy a pair of pants that fit. 34" inseam, 34" waist. They always fit perfectly. Over the last 5 years I've gained a little weight and I'm now wearing 38/34, but I'm working that off again (I've lost 17 lbs in 2 months!) … Continue reading Due to Inflation, Inches Are Longer
Four Mistakes Investors Make
I'll post the Mechanical Investing results after lunch, but in the meantime I thought I'd recap the Four Mistakes Investors Make: Buying stocks Not buying stocks Selling stocks Not selling stocks I hope that's clear enough. Feel free to ask any questions. 😛
Evel Cownievel
Presenting Evel Cownieval, daredevil stunt cow. P.S. My cow.
The Leader
Busy today. Work work work. Here's a poem to keep you entertained today: The Leader by Roger McGough ========== I wanna be the leader I wanna be the leader Can I be the leader? Can I? I can? Promise? Promise? Yippee I'm the leader I'm the leader OK what shall we do?
Go Dogs, Go!
A houseful of dogs for Christmas was most amusing. Patch is used to having the house by himself most of the time, and most of the time he's very well behaved. He leaves the occasional brown surprise behind the sofa, I suppose, but what dog doesn't? Patch doesn't usually chew slippers or possess other destructive … Continue reading Go Dogs, Go!
Wee Fish Ewe a Mare Egrets Moose
Wee Fish Ewe a Mare Egrets Moose Panda Hippo Gnu Deer
Winter Salutations
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions … Continue reading Winter Salutations
Incoming!
Step 1. Tie balloons to car. Step 2. Drive like crazy .... Step 3. Watch people freak out !!!!
Mer^2y Christmas
This cartoon will appeal to only a very few people. I happen to be one of them. 🙂
Christmas Gift Idea
Bubble Wrap
Get yer holiday stress relief here!
Headlines in 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia (formally known as California). White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwest United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. … Continue reading Headlines in 2029
The Healing Power of Chocolate
The ancient Mayans were right. Chocolate heals. Among the benefits reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association: Cocoa, rich in flavonoids, help keep blood platelets from clumping together which can reduce the risk of blood clots that could lead to heart attacks. Dark chocolate can lower blood pressure in elderly hypertensive patients. Chocolate … Continue reading The Healing Power of Chocolate
Someone Keeps Stealing My Letters
I'm just amazed that this weekend's Santa Slingshot generated 35 comments. Y'all must be starved for fun websites. 🙂 Ok, here is today's fun website: Someone Keeps Stealing My Letters. I haven't successfully written anything yet, but I've prevented other people from spelling things. 🙂
Slingshot Santa
It's time for Santa to take a little trip. The elves are going to help. Santa Slingshot Post your scores below. 🙂
Cell Phone Destruction
This just in: The number one cause of cell phone breakage is dropping it. No surprise there. The number two reason is because your pants are too tight. A survey of 300 retailers Sweden found that squeezing handsets into snug-fitting pants is the second leading cause of broken phones. Apparently, the phones simply can't handle … Continue reading Cell Phone Destruction
I Lost My Frog
If I looking for frog him name is hopkin green frog.
A Passion for Movies
I went to Amazon to look for a DVD. I heard of "The Gospel of John" that came out around the time of "The Passion of Christ" and wanted to see if it was available. So I went to Amazon and searched for "Passion of Christ" to see if "Gospel of John" popped up as … Continue reading A Passion for Movies
StoryCorps
Sean sent me a link to StoryCorps, dedicated to record an interviews with your favorite person. They take care of all the technical details, including helping with the questions you can ask. You get an hour long recording of the experience for only $10. Have you wanted to interview your grandmother? An uncle? A favorite … Continue reading StoryCorps
Happy Thanksgiving
May you have the happiest of Thanksgivings today. I'll be counting my blessings today, one drumstick at a time. 🙂
The Power of (Grilled) Cheese
How much would you pay for a 10-year old grilled cheese sandwich with a bite taking out of it? MIAMI (Reuters) - An online casino won the eBay bidding for a decade-old cheese sandwich bearing what some people consider a likeness of the Virgin Mary and immediately began hawking Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese T-shirts. GoldenPalace.com's … Continue reading The Power of (Grilled) Cheese
Things You Like But I Don't
I can't help it. I just don't like them. Popcorn. Love the smell, hate the way that little thin paper-like kernal piece covers your tooth like lamination, then slides down below the gum line. Grrrr. Drives me bonkers. Rolling Stones. Seriously, they had one decent song, "Stairway to Heaven," which I've only heard 3 million … Continue reading Things You Like But I Don't
Blood Pressure
After my teensy weensy salad for lunch, I stopped by the automatic blood pressure machine. I stepped up on the pad, placed my arm in the cuff. The automated voice said, "Press the blue button that best describes your height in shoes." I picked 6' 2", even though I'm shrinking as I get older. I … Continue reading Blood Pressure
Stream of Consciousness
If my train of thought leaves Chicago at 35 miles per hour.... What am I doing? Oh, nothing. Thanks for asking. I was just reflecting on how much I enjoy having this website and all the visitors that leave comments, but some days I just don't feel like diving into the topic du juor. Al … Continue reading Stream of Consciousness
I'm Forty-Three
Sung to the tune of "Yesterday" : I'm forty three there are pieces falling off of me now I'm twice as old as I used to be I can't believe I'm forty three. Why I huff and puff climbing hills I couldn't say At least my memory's intact I... what was I going to say … Continue reading I'm Forty-Three
Puppy Power
Busy today. Lots of things going on lately, not much of it bloggable if that's a word. At least not bloggable yet. And I'm busy at work this week, so posting at lunch is hard, too. I don't want you to feel like you visited today and left empty handed today, though. Here's a picture … Continue reading Puppy Power
Bush Country Tee Shirt
From Another Day Closer, that Red/Blue map of the USA is now available on a t-shirt at NewsMaxStore.
Little Egg Harbor Terrorists
Pesky eighth graders. We're taking them down!!! A National Guard F-16 fighter jet on a nighttime training mission Wednesday fired 25 rounds of ammunition that tore through an intermediate school. No one was injured. The military is investigating the incident that damaged Little Egg Harbor Intermediate School shortly after 11 p.m. This is where the … Continue reading Little Egg Harbor Terrorists
Conspiracy Theories
I am amused by the conspiracy theorists on the left. I don't blame them for holding out hope, though statistically it's unlikely Kerry can gain enough votes. Here's the theories I found on Democratic Underground: The exit polls are never wrong, and they showed Kerry winning Florida and Ohio. Canadian TV said it would be … Continue reading Conspiracy Theories
Coincidence?
The stock market tanks after rumors that John Kerry was doing better than expected in key battleground states. Naked German people having sex on the sidewalk. And 300 blood sucking monkeys attack children at a Hindu temple. Coincidence? I think not. The end of the world is nigh. 😛
John Kerry Agrees With You
No matter what your position is on any topic, John Kerry agrees with you.
Buttons!
Scotty, We Need More Power!
I'm a mechanical engineer, working on large petrochemical rotating equipment. My good friend Sean is an architect. I thought maybe he could help me out on a little issue. The email exchange sort of went like this: Michael: The motor I'm buying is 5105 amps. Do you have a good source for a circuit breaker? … Continue reading Scotty, We Need More Power!
Gathered in His Name
Does this count under Matthew 18:20? For where two or more are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them.
Dave Barry, Man of Leisure
*sniff* I'm going to miss my weekly Dave Barry fix. Starting in January, Dave Barry is taking at least a year off. Slacker. After 30 years without missing a column he thinks he's entitled to a little time off? Bah. I don't take time off of reading his column, why should he be able to … Continue reading Dave Barry, Man of Leisure
Bush's Debate Notes
Just leaked - Bush's Debate Notes from the Bush/Kerry debate! Now you can see directly into the mind of our President! All throughout the debate, Bush was seen taking notes on a piece of paper at his podium. At great risk to life and limb, we were able to smuggle out the notes and present … Continue reading Bush's Debate Notes
Angelina & Christina Redux
Ok, ok already... next time I post something even slightly off-color, I'll give myself 24 hours first, *then* decide if I should post it. I agree it wasn't fair to post something and then yank it. So here's my strategy: I'm going to repost it now and then try to post a lot of things … Continue reading Angelina & Christina Redux
Angelina and Christina
I've reconsidered this morning's post, and decided to remove it. Here's a picture of some fresh fallen snow in Yosemite National Park this week instead:
Halloween Cancelled in Seattle
In Puyallup, Oregon, Halloween's been cancelled this year. For obvious reasons, of course: dressing up as a witch is offensive to real witches. "Witches with pointy noses and things like that are not respective symbols of the Wiccan religion and so we want to be respectful of that," said Hansen. The school district cancelled Halloween, … Continue reading Halloween Cancelled in Seattle
A Little Indecision
Found at Little Miss Attila is this funny ad. It's produced by David Zucker, the director of Airplane! and Naked Gun. Zucker says he was once a typical Hollywood liberal until he "got mugged on 9/11." Zucker doesn't believe that Kerry's waffling on domestic terror issues would be a good quality in our Commander in … Continue reading A Little Indecision
Debate, Declaim, Debacle
From a tip from my brother-in-law Joe: CHIEFFER And our first question goes to Senator Kerry. Sir, your spending plans will cost over a trillion dollars. Your combined tax plans will cost $500 billion. How are you going to balance the budget? KERRY Bob, I'm glad you asked me that question, but before I dodge … Continue reading Debate, Declaim, Debacle
You Don't Believe Her Story Either, Do You?
CANBERRA, Australia - A woman seduced and had sex with strangers while she slept and later had no recollection of her infidelities due to a sleeping disorder, her Sydney doctor said Thursday. The middle-aged woman had no idea that she was sneaking from her house at night in search of sex with random strangers until … Continue reading You Don't Believe Her Story Either, Do You?
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